you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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