i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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