When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
