k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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