Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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