Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
