Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
