You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
