I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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