allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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