Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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