i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
