all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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