everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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