Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
