I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
