Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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