he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize