I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
