Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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