oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
