Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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