She's JV to your varsity
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
