Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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