he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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