so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Panties = found
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
