Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
