I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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