I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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