she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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