Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im about as happy as oj after his trial
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize