whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
