This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
