i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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