I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
