she looked like the before picture.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
