I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
