K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
