i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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