Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
