i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
