i'm signing you up for texting rehab
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
