What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
