Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I look better un-naked...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
