he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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