People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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