What a fucking waste of an outfit
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize