escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize