I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Randomize
