READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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