We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
