Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
