have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
