I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
