I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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