there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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