let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
