We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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