was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize