All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize